SOURCE CODE [7.0] (9-25-11)

I watched this movie a couple months back, and have referred to it in conversation maybe three times since. That's a fair sign to me that it's okay to say I like this movie. SOURCE CODE was the choice of the night among the rest of the ignored rejects from every other Red Box customer that day, and I only grabbed it because I vaguely remembered the preview being something about Jake Gyllenhaal in a type of time traveling scenario in which he gets to re-live the same moment over and over again. Though I am usually down for these types of seemingly familiar journeys, I assumed it would be crap, and consciously avoided it many times in the past. If I would have began the movie with my arms already crossed, then I would have probably scrutinized each and every line of dialogue without even pausing it if I needed to go to the kitchen or the bathroom. Instead, I welcomed a Science Fiction-Techno-Thriller, whatever the hell THAT means starring that guy from BROKEBACK MOU... ... DONNIE DARKO.

There were a few times in which I had to turn a blind eye, but other than that, it kept me moderately entertained. I suspected the plot twist early on, but it was still semi-impacting when it was finally revealed.

When decorated soldier Captain Colter Stevens (Jake Gyllenhaal) wakes up in the body of an unknown man, he discovers he's part of a mission to find the bomber of a Chicago commuter train. In an assignment unlike any he's ever known, he learns he's part of a government experiment called the "Source Code," a program that enables him to cross over into another man's identity in the last 8 minutes of his life. With a second, much larger target threatening to kill millions in downtown Chicago, Colter re-lives the incident over and over again, gathering clues each time, until he can solve the mystery of who is behind the bombs and prevent the next attack. -moviefone.com

The ending was a bit of a stretch for me. Yes, we want everybody walking out into the sunset as happy as can be when it's all said and done, but at what cost? They just presented some made-up parallel-universes time-travelling jargon to keep us from saying, hey wait a minute here. Whatever, the ending wrapped it all up nicely, but why the crap did he choose to DIE instead of having the amazing opportunity of continuing his experiences, saving lives, etc...

So, though this movie wasn't the greatest thing to ever make love to my DVD drive, it hit the spot at just the right time, and I will probably end up seeing it again years from now.

9-24-11 Rarely Satisfied

By no means do I consider myself keen to what makes a generally great movie. I just love watching movies and forcing my opinion on others, like a self absorbed know-it-all who completely ignores someone when they disagree. I usually end up disliking movies, making it difficult to keep a solid streak of agreement among my readers. Regardless of the popularity of my opinions, I can't deny this urge to (mostly) complain and (rarely) praise each and every Red Box I see. Spoilers Galore! I would recommend reading a review AFTER sitting through the entire movie, despite the fact that most people browse reviews with the intentions of providing influence to their rental decisions.

***on a scale of one to ten***

1.0=CRAP. The existence of this movie inspires me to do harm to my physical self. Each time it's name is spoken, the portal to Hell widens just a little more. If this movie were a Stand-up Comedian, it would be Nicholas Cage. This movie is the reason for all sickness and disease.

10.0=HANDMADE BY GOD. We undeserving mortals have been blessed with an opportunity to view God's latest creation. Other movies become self-conscious and insecure when they're hanging out with it. It has the roar of a Bahamut/Leviathan hybrid. Women will be naming their children after it, in honor of it's unsurpassed awesomeness.

SOMETHING BORROWED [2.5] (9-24-11)

My intentions (when I decided to grab a chic-flick for my lady while I was near a Red Box) were all good. I was hoping to give her an hour and a half of entertainment pleasure, instead of this cesspool of depression I brought home, which seemed to rub off on my DVD player (it just hasn't been the same), only to have her nod off during the supposedly "climactic" plot "twists". I don't want to over-use the quotation marks, but I don't know what else to do. This "movie" is the Kansas City Chiefs of Football. The bright red uniforms attract the eye, and then WHAM! All hope is lost, as they mock your interest by overly SUCKING for as long as possible, just completely rubbing your face all in the crap you left on the floor because of your horrible decision to tune-in to something so undeserving. Spoiler Alert: This movie will make kill yourself.

Friendships are tested and secrets come to the surface when terminally single Rachel falls for Dex, her best friend Darcy's fiancé.

Kate Hudson plays a great party girl, the end. Everything else eagerly welcomes you to blur your vision and hum in your head as the chemistry, er complete LACK of chemistry, between the cast members spits in your face time and time again. I do not know the actor's name that played the lead male role, and I hope I never learn it. A simple browser search would answer all of my questions, but it would only encourage the potential fact that people actually look him up on the Internet. I do not wish to support his career in any way at all... and, I just realized his name is on the Movie Poster Pic above the top paragraph anyway. It's as if the Director asked him to intentionally be as horrible as possible, so as to help the other leads in the film shine. He was a cliche' hot guy that took a leave of absence from his life of modeling underwear so he could fulfill a recent dare to make a complete ass of himself while attempting to act. Dare fulfilled.

John Krasinski as Jim Halpert. As a fan of The Office (NBC), I was secretly looking forward to John's appearances. JOHN'S appearances, not JIM'S. His job was very easy: Make a sarcastic face at least once each time the camera comes around, and wear a tie without buttoning the top of his shirt. He was a very small speck of dirt on this freshly plucked potato of crap. No comic relief, just Jim in another universe.

This movie dragged on, and on, and on, and on... Oh my God, will my eyes ever rest!?

After winning the battle by staying remotely attentive for and hour and a half... it was finally over, and I was so overwhelmed with excitement because I would finally be doing ANYTHING other than watching Something Borrowed.